


Daisies, Daisies

by aishjinjaa



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Hanahaki Disease, Light Angst, M/M, side chensung, side nomin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-22
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-04-26 07:10:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14396913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aishjinjaa/pseuds/aishjinjaa
Summary: Love isn't the only thing that blooms in Donghyuck because of Mark.





	1. Chapter 1

Donghyuck clears his throat, the discomfort growing gradually. His throat has been itching since a week ago, and it hasn’t gotten better despite the amount of water and cough syrup he’s been taking for the past few days. He has gone to the clinic, but the doctor was quite sure it was just a cough caused by dropping temperatures. He was assured that this was supposed to last for just a few days, though, and it has been showing no signs of getting better.

“Have you visited the doctor?” Mark asks worriedly, looking up from the book he’s been reading.

He nods, clearing his throat once more. “I went to the clinic last week.” He explains. Mark knows it’s been bothering him, he knows that, as Donghyuck was usually chirpy and naughty self, but is instead constantly coughing and is always drained of energy. “What did the doctor say?”

“It’s just a cough.” He assures him, leaning forward and extending his arms to soothe the worry lines across Mark’s forehead. “Stop doing that.” He whispers playfully.

“I’m allowed to worry, right?” Donghyuck smiles, and nods, trying to mask the disappointment in his face. Because of a drunken confession a year ago, he’s pretty sure Mark knows how he feels—Mark has ignored it, and pretended nothing happened, maybe mainly from the assumption that Donghyuck would forget it because he’s drunk. He knows it isn’t returned—he does. But it doesn’t stop him from feeling disappointed about the fact that he wouldn’t even acknowledge it. Mark then continued to treat him like this, to treating him like he actually matters, to making him feel like there actually is something there—and it just tears him up the whole time. “I’m your best friend, I’m at least allowed that.”

“Of course—I,” he was about to say something more but he was interrupted by another coughing fit.

Donghyuck is trying to focus on studying for their upcoming exams, he really is, but the constant dry coughing has put a strain on his throat and a constant throbbing inside his head. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Mark walks to stand behind him, his hands draping over Donghyuck’s shoulders to soothe his chest with both of his hands, and rests his chin on the top of his head. “I think you should get checked again.” Jeno looks over worriedly, glancing between him and Mark alternately. “I can come with you if you want.”

“I should come with Hyuk!” Jeno slips, almost rushed. “It’s okay if you don’t come, I know you’re getting ready for the basketball match.”

“Jaemin and I can come with him.” Jaemin looks up at the mention of his name.

“Hey but—I also have a bas—”

Jeno fake coughs, touching his forehead with his hand. “I think I may be coming down with a fever, I think I should get checked, too, and I think you should come with us.” He glares at Jaemin quite obviously, but the innocent, naïve, Mark, didn’t suspect a thing. 

“Okay.” Jaemin gives up, glancing curiously at the two.

“Take care of him.” Mark clasps Donghyuck’s chin, rubbing his thumb across it. “And give me updates.”

“Sure.” Jeno smiles as Mark walks away from them, letting Donghyuck go.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Donghyuck faces Jeno curiously. “What was that?”

Jeno sighs, unsure of whether to continue or not. “I have…” he glances quietly at Jaemin. “Suspicions, of what that might be—and you wouldn’t want Mark to come with you, trust me.” He quietens his voice significantly, careful not to announce it to Jaemin, who has been wearing his earphones.

“I’m pretty sure I’m thinking what you’re thinking, there’s no need to keep this under wraps.” Jaemin mutters. He straightens up and removes his earphones, setting them aside to face Hyuk seriously. “And I’m pretty sure it’s come to mind, too, so don’t play dumb.” He smiles kindly, doing away with his usual playful demeanor. “You know what it probably is.”

_Hanahaki._

“It’s not. It’s just a cough, I’m sure. I have only been coughing for weeks now, there aren’t any…” he looks around the library cautiously, making sure nobody is eavesdropping. It was already almost closing time and the library is practically empty but you need to be sure. “Petals.” He whispers. Hanahaki wasn’t exactly rare, but it wasn’t common either. As soon as people knew you had it, the interest spikes and they ask you all types of questions—even including questions about who’s causing it. He glances over to where Mark is standing, stacking books back to where they got them from.

Sexuality has never been something that he and Mark had discussed before, and he hasn’t seriously evaluated if his feelings were only for his best friend, or if it was exclusively for males. He is quite sure Mark is straight, though. The other hadn’t exactly specified it but he _knows._ Mark is fond of him, he does treat Donghyuck specially—but that’s only because they’ve been best friends for God knows how long.

He waves goodbye to Jaemin and Jeno as he turns the other way to walk home, he turns towards the direction of the bus station until he notices Mark has followed him. He stops and looks over to him curiously. Mark stops, brandishing a conscious expression. “What.” He demanded.

“Why are you following me, you go the other way.” He shoos him away, motioning him away with his hand.

Mark stood his ground, smirking. “No.” he walks quickly and ahead of Donghyuck, insisting. He follows him quietly, smiling in spite of himself. “But you live on the other side of town.” He catches up, linking their arms together. “I can just stay with you, right? Your parents never mind.” Mark pulls him closer, smiling gently. Despite the fact that it was already springtime, much of the winter air still lingers at night, and they had to walk like that the entire distance to the bus station.

These were the moments where Donghyuck starts wishing—looking at Mark and smiling at him like that, laughing and cooing at his antics—then he starts wishing that there might be a chance that there is something there that could bloom into something else.

Mark wraps his arm around his shoulders, rubbing his arm to keep him warm. “We should have brought a jacket, huh.”

“I was wishing it would get warmer.” He mutters, teeth clattering.

“Well, the bus is warm, let’s go.” He straightens up as soon as the vehicle starts to pull over.

Because of the time, there weren’t many people on the bus and they were the only ones sitting at the back. Mark leans back onto the chair, and stretches forward, before wrapping his arms around Donghyuck’s arm. “I have clothes in your room, right.”

He looks at him incredulously, “When did you ever have no clothes in my house?”

Mark suppresses a smile and leans sideways to rest his head on his shoulder, closing his eyes and started to drift off to sleep. He’s sure he would have fallen asleep if he hadn’t started coughing again. Mark looks up at him worriedly, rubbing his hand across his back. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Donghyuck pushes him away gently, feeling a stronger urge to cough is brains out with the proximity—feeling suffocated with the presence of another person while he coughs. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I’m visiting the doctor soon, I’ll be fine.”

As soon as the coughing subsides, Mark goes back to rest his head on his shoulder while he continues to rub circles against his back. “I’m uncomfortable,” Mark mutters quietly.

“Then sit properly.” Donghyuck chastises.

“No,” he smiles. “What I meant is that I’m uncomfortable seeing you sick.” His expression turns into a frown as he takes Donghyuck’s hand in his free one, and caresses it with his thumb. “Feel better, okay?”

“Hmm…” he mutter.

“For me?”

“Okay… for you.”

He sprints out of his bed in the strongest coughing fit he has experienced before, trying to expel whatever it was that was blocking his throat, and as result, his airway. He runs to the bathroom and leans over the sink, trying to spit it out but it refuses to be dislodged. He leans over further, leaning against the wall in front of him. Then it came out—he should have expected it, it’s not like he hasn’t been thinking about it as soon as Jaemin told him their suspicions, he should have anticipated this more: a single white petal dislodges from his throat, completely dry, and floats gently to the sink in front of him.

His heart sank, fearing the time where he could no longer stop them from being revealed and having to put Mark in such an awkward position. He fishes his phone out quietly, opening his, Jeno, and Jaemin’s group chat to tell them.

_There’s no need to go to the doctor. I have it._

He suddenly hears movement from his room, footsteps coming near the bathroom. He quickly picks up the fallen petal and clasps it between his fingers right before the door swung open to reveal a groggy, but worried Mark.

“Hey, are you okay?”

He nods, attempting to naturally put his fist down to hide the petal he has hidden between his fingers. “I’m going to the doctor today so don’t worry.”

Mark nods, yawning, before pulling him close into a hug. “Good.” He kisses the top of his head before muttering that he had to take a bath and prepare for the all-day practice, pushing Donghyuck out of the bathroom.

Mark prepares quietly, wearing his basketball uniform and packing his things neatly onto his bag. “Did your Mom look for you?” Donghyuck inquires.

“We were still in the library when I told her I was going to sleep at your place.” He smiles sheepishly. They were neighbors back when Mark and his family moved into a small apartment from Canada when they were still looking for a decent home for a family of four, and they’ve been friends since then, visiting the playground together and going to school together. After a few months, however, Mark and his family found a home in a different part of the city, but he insisted he wanted to go to school with Donghyuck, despite the travel time that it required him to take. Mark stays with him almost every week, and one day, he just brought a bunch of clothes, toiletries, and underwear and kept them there.

“I’m gonna go,” he strides over, cupping Donghyuck’s face in his hand. “Go to the doctor and tell me what happens, okay?”

“Sure.” Mark walks away and runs down the stairs after bidding goodbye to his parents.

“Why is he like this,” he groans, frustrated. “Why does he have to act like that, I’m dying out here.” He complains to Jeno, who has been sitting beside him in a hospital waiting room after insisting that they visit a doctor, anyway. “He’s so sweet and caring, and touchy, _and clingy._ He treats me like a lover but I’m his best friend why is he like this?”

Jeno considers for a while. “Maybe he’s in love with you.”

Donghyuck looks at him pointedly, opening his palm to reveal a single petal. “Then what is this?” he scoffs, but not unkindly—more of a sign of resignation and hopelessness in his part. “This is _Hanahaki,_ Jeno. It’s either I die, or I get surgery to get this removed.”

“ Or he could fall in love with you.”

“That’s not going to happen.” He knows it isn’t. Mark has had his whole life knowing him, but he never did. Why now? Just because he has Hanahaki, would that magically make Mark fall in love with him? If anything, it will only get his pity, or force Mark into saying things, and wanting to feel things that he doesn’t have to, and… he’d rather get a whole ass tree removed from the body rather than force Mark into something he can’t do.

"Cough,” the doctor tells him quietly as he presses a stethoscope against his’s back, so he did. “Do it again.” He says, prompting Donghyuck to do it again. After taking notes in a small piece of paper in his hand, the doctor steps back and takes out a tool which Donghyuck had no idea what was for. “Did you bring any petals or leaves?” the doctor asked, prompting him to hand the petal over to him.

“Where are the other petals?”

Donghyuck raised his brows in curiosity. “There’s only been one petal so far.” It was the doctor’s turn to be surprised. “Just this one?” Donghyuck nods, sharing glances with Jeno who was equally as confused.

“How long have you been coughing?” he peers over his glasses. “Be honest.”

“A month.” He takes a peek at Jeno, who honestly looked so offended about the fact that he has been experiencing the symptoms for quite a while and hadn’t told him until it became apparent around two weeks ago.

“I don’t want to mean anything by this because I still need to run some tests and do some research about this but your Hanahaki is progressing very slowly. Usually, after one month after the coughing starts they’d be coughing whole flowers rather than just petals.” He slides the petal under the tool and peeks at it multiple times before giving it back to him. “It’s the petal of a daisy,” he says, “It means innocence and purity.”

“Does it matter?”

“Sometimes it does.” He takes out a small paper and starts scribbling information in it. “I will advise you to try and decipher whether the proximity between you and the object of your affection make the coughing more painful, less painful, any exclusive reactions, record them, and report them to me by the next appointment. I will give you medicine to minimize the throat friction and some Hanahaki exclusive painkillers.” He tears the paper off and hands them to him. “Tell me if the petals change color, what color, the approximate amount of them when leaves start coming out and record what was happening or what happened when they come out, okay?”

After clarifying everything with the doctor, Donghyuck and Jeno starts to get ready to leave, but before they could leave, a nurse knocked and peeked in. “Hi, Doc. There’s someone looking for the Hanahaki patient?” the doctor looks over to him as the nurse opens the door wide.

And there stood, rigid and dumfounded: Mark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> inspired by Mark singing Ed Sheeran's 'Hearts Don't Break Around Here'
> 
> here's a link if you haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwW-g6WMNMI


	2. Chapter 2

“Donghyuck,” _Why is he dreaming of Mark again? What did he do to deserve this? Can’t he just break his heart once and just run away with it? Why does he have to appear in dreams and break his heart even in his sleep?_ “Donghyuck, wake up.” He wakes up with a start, pushing the totally real Mark out of the way as his throat starts itching again, managing to run away for a few steps before he falls to the floor, and coughs up more white petals, coming out of his mouth like confetti. He coughs once, twice, three times, and he coughs up 5, 7, 10, 15 more petals. Some of them coming out blue. He stops, feeling Mark’s burning gaze from behind him. He stares at them, beautiful, soft, and gentle. He straightens up, picking them one by one, cradling them in his palm gently. “Can you get me a Ziploc bag, I have some by the top left drawer.” He chokes out, voice still groggy and hoarse.

Mark makes a move to open his drawer and gives him one, not after long. “This is the first time there are colors,” he mutters to himself while Mark knelt beside him. “I need to take note of this.”

“What’s going to happen?”

“Nothing.” He smiles. “I’m just going to the doctor again so he can figure out when I can get them removed.”

“Are you really going to?”

“Of course, there’s no other way.”

Mark suddenly stands after closing the Ziploc and putting them in one of Hyuck’s drawers. “We should go out and hang out today.” He says with so much resolve.

“Hyung, its Sunday.”

“Who cares?”

“I do, I’m supposed to be resting.” He couldn’t help but chuckle, he does love it when Mark is enthusiastic like this. “Tomorrow, we can… maybe?”

“But can I…” he looks around Hyuck’s room. “…stay with you today? We can watch a movie, or whatever you want.” And he’s pouting; he didn’t do that often—Donghyuck has always been the clingier one, and not him, so he knows the other couldn’t actually deny him.

“Whatever.” He pretends to brush it off, causing Mark to grin and run off to put his bag down in one of the corners of the room.

When he came out of the bathroom after taking a bath, Mark was fiddling with his guitar, plucking an unfamiliar melody. “How long has it been since you last used this?” He absent-mindedly asks, flinging his hair to one side to keep his hair away from his eyes, making his brown hair bounce. “It’s super out of tune.” He giggles as if there’s something about that.

“Eyy,” he teases. “What’s wrong with you, why are you laughing by yourself again?”

He tests the guitar and Donghyuck sits by the foot of the bed. “Now, that’s better.” he tries to pluck the same melody, humming along with it.

“Sing it.” he teases Mark. He was always the one who put him in situations like these, making him blush and hang his head. Mark shakes his head, flushing. “It’s kind of ironic, it may be offensive.”

“Well, now, I _really_ want to hear it.” he pushes, urging Mark to go ahead and sing. He hesitates, but starts to pluck on the strings anyway—besides, he hasn’t heard Mark sing in such a long time, it’s a waste not to use this opportunity. Many people would immediately turn to him as the one who had the prettiest voice amongst all of them, and he does agree to that, he _is_ vocally more blessed than the rest of the group, but Mark’s voice was different. His voice is low, calm, and soothing—so similar to his talking voice that he could sometimes imagine him just talking to him and soothing him at the same time while he sang.

He inhales and starts to sing. “ _Daisies, daisies, perched upon your forehead_ ,” he pauses and looks at him, asking for permission. Donghyuck stares right back at him before he nods urging him to continue. He _does_ find the irony in it, but he doesn’t mind—it’s the kind of irony that makes him think of Mark anyway.

“ _Oh my baby, lately I know. That every night I’ll kiss you you’ll say in my ear: oh we’re in love aren’t we? Hands in your hair, fingers, and thumbs, baby.”_ he ends it with a tentative final chord, before looking up shyly.

“Eyy,” he tries to tease, but he was out of words himself. “Show off.” He wanted to think it was for him, after all, he was the one who has daisies inside him—he can hope, and he can fantasize, right? It never is true anyway, he never thought of him that way. Mark sets the guitar aside and giggles sheepishly. “I’m not.”

He sits on the bed across Mark, wiping his hands with the towel he had previously slung around his shoulder, although quite aggressively. “It was so dusty, what were you thinking?” he feigns annoyance, scoffing. “Sorry.” The other grins, moving his thumb to stroke his hand gently. Donghyuck’s heart beats exponentially faster, sending shivers down his spine, with butterflies fluttering wildly in his stomach. He allows himself to stare back, only for a little bit before a cough forces its way out of his throat, dislodging a blood red petal, which floats in front of him and into Mark’s hand. He stares at it, dumbfounded.

Out of all the petals so far, this one is different, not just it’s color, but its size and shape. Every single one has been a slim, elongated, thin petal, while this one is more rounded and thicker.

“It’s a different flower.” Mark observes.

“Yes,” he looks up after realizing what it is, and what it means. “It’s different.” He remembers what the doctor told him, the meaning of the flowers matter, they always do. Most of the time, they tell you how deeply you’re in. White daisies meant innocence and purity, meant sincerity and childhood nostalgia—all of which describes his relationship and feelings for Mark.

And right now, there is no denying what the red rose meant.

Donghyuck was back inside the bright doctors’ clinic with Jeno, and this time, Jaemin. “It’s still weirdly slow…” he mumbles to himself and he accepts the Ziplocs he brought. “I was calculating the anticipated number of petals the other night and I concluded that it should be around 50-60 petals by now, and that’s taking into account how slow it’s been progressing.”

“That’s 18 petals.” Donghyuck adds, making the Doctor nod.

“I’ve asked several people about your situation,” he starts as he pours some of the petals onto a glass plate, careful not to release everything. “There are multiple reasons as to why the progress has been slow. The inability of the body to release them is one, so we should really give you an ultrasound to see how many there are inside your lungs. Another is the existence of deep feelings on the side of the object of your affection.” Jeno and Jaemin perks up from where they sat, suddenly attentive.

“If you don’t mind me asking, is it a… best friend, perhaps?”

Donghyuck hung his head, nodding. “That could be a reason.” The Doctor concluded. “Deep affection or fondness for you confuses the Hanahaki. It’s also a sign of a possibility…”

“Possibility of what?” Jaemin inquires, making eye contact with Hyuck.

“I don’t want to risk it, Doc.” Hyuck interjects, shaking his head. “Whether he returns it or not, I can’t just wait for it to happen.”

“Yes.” He frowns. “It will start to block your airways at around the second or third month, making it hard to breathe. It is also advised to get is surgically removed at the fourth to the sixth month, or…”

“Or I die.”

The doctor sits in front of him, folding his hands in front of his knees. “Right now, we really need an ultrasound. We need to gauge how deep the roots are latched so I can devise a surgery plan. One of the biggest issue, why I wouldn’t advise you to wait for your affections to be returned, is this,” he holds the red petal in front of him. “I have explained to you… you don’t just have flowers in there, you have roots, you have leaves, you have stems… you have thorns.”

Donghyuck takes a deep inhale, feeling the weight inside his lungs. He nods, understanding. The doctor gives him a small piece of paper with additional prescription and the schedule of his ultrasound.

“I’m going to need your parent’s consent for that.”

Donghyuck’s breath hitches. “No, they can’t know.”

“Why?”

“They’ll ask… they’ll ask who it is. And they’re going to know, and they’re going to tell his parents…” he tries to explain.

“Doesn’t your best friend know?”

“He does, but he doesn’t know it’s him. I lied and told him it was another person.”

“Hyuck…” Jeno sighs.

“Then… you can tell your parents the same thing.”

“But…” _I think they know._ He wanted to say. He sees his parents look at him sometimes, while he absent-mindedly stares at Mark, at the way he laughs at Mark’s jokes during dinnertime and his mother gives him her knowing looks… they’re going to know it’s him.

He tells them that night. Right before they start leaving the table, he tells them. They were stone-faced at first, blood draining from his mother’s face. “Who is it?” his father asks.

“You don’t know who it is, and we’ve lost contact.”

“Where did you meet? Why don’t we know?”

“We met at band camp last year.” He answers quickly, making his mother send him a worried glance. “I’ve been talking with the doctor, and I need an ultrasound next week and I need your consent.”

His father nods solemnly, comforting his wife. “Are you going to be okay?”

“I’m getting it removed.”

“Lee Donghyuck…” his mother says shakily, “Those surgeries kill.”

“As long as I get it removed before the roots grow too deep, I’m going to be okay.” He says firmly. He has spent days on end trying to research. The key to Hanahaki was an early diagnosis, and getting it removed before it gets too deep. The problem with people is that they _hope._ They keep on hoping that within a short span of time it will magically be returned, they think the daisies and roses and just going to go away, and they just let them _grow._

He doesn’t believe in that—he _knows,_ he knows Mark isn’t going to love him back. For him to get better, Mark has to love him back and even though he does, he needs to actually confess to Donghyuck for it to go away. He can’t just go up and tell him, _‘hey, love me back yet? Can you confess, please, I need these damn daisies out of my lungs’_ , can he? So he accepted his fate. He’s accepted that a long time ago, and he always thought that if there was any way that he could just make the feelings go away, he would. And now he has the chance to do it.

He was shoving things into his bag as the bell rung signaling the end of the day when he spotted Mark waiting for him by the door. The other smiles widely and waves at him, motioning for him to come over. “Good luck.” Jaemin sighs, tapping him on the back before leaving with Jeno, but not without making small talk with Mark by the door. Donghyuck walks over, accepting and falling into Mark’s arms as he pulls him into a hug.

“Come with me?” he asks. It’s not like Donghyuck refuses anyway.

“What are you doing?” he asks as Mark skips ahead of him, going in the direction of their house. “Are you sleeping over again?” he pretends to be annoyed. “I’m sick of your face.”

“I’m sick of your face, too.” Mark smiles, quickly running over to the bus stop, urging him to run quickly as the bus slows to a stop.

“Did you tell your Mom?” he asks as soon as he sits down beside him, making Mark laugh. Why does he really have to ask? Mark always does, and it’s not like he doesn’t stay over 3 times a week. If he isn’t home by 8 and it’s not basketball season, he’s almost surely with Donghyuck, his mom had stopped worrying years ago.

The sun was starting to set when they arrived at their stop, as Mark pulls him along. “ _What_ is up with you.” He suddenly gets an idea. “Is this a surprise birthday party?”

“What? No.” Mark denies. “Your birthday is tomorrow.”

“To surprise me more?” he offers, making Mark scoff.

“No, I’m celebrating something else with you.” He searches his brain for anything that they can celebrate that day but he couldn’t come up with anything. They were one block away from Donghyuck’s house and on the street where Mark and his family’s old apartment building was located. Suddenly, Mark slows down by the park. He goes ahead to sit on one of the swings, patting the other one, inviting him to sit beside him. As soon as Donghyuck sits with him, he takes his bag and opens it to take out a small plastic bag which had two ice cream pops in it.

“What?” Donghyuck can’t help but chuckle. Did he have that inside his bag the entire time?

“I was rushing you because they might melt.” He tries to squeeze one of the pops. “They do still seem to be partially solid.” He observes as he hands the green melon-flavored one, as he takes the red watermelon flavored one for himself.

Donghyuck accepts quietly, trying to gauge Mark’s actions. Out of the both of them, Donghyuck has always been the spontaneous, affectionate one—and he wonders if Mark might have found out, and is doing this out of pity.

“Don’t you remember?” the other asks, interrupting his train of thought. “I’m disappointed.” He pouts, biting on his iced lollipop, knowing that it bothered Donghyuck.

“What?” he demands.

“Happy 10th year!” he suddenly cheers, surprising the two teenaged boys preparing to go home by another edge of the park. They both apologize, bowing quickly before turning their attention back to each other. “What do you mean?”

“10 years ago, a day before your 7th birthday, you were playing here with your sister. I was sitting in this swing,” he motions to the swing he currently was sitting on. “And you were sitting there while your sister pushed the swing.” He explains. “I was holding an iced lollipop of this exact flavor and brand and I accidentally dropped it.”

The memory suddenly flashes before him, of Mark and his tiny feet, not even showing signs that he would grow as tall as he was now. He smiles. “I started crying quietly just as your mom arrived with one iced lollipop for you and your sister each.”

“Mom didn’t notice you crying but I did.” He chuckles, taking the iced pop into his mouth.

“Yeah, so you came over to me and gave me yours.” Mark nods. “Ever since then watermelon had become my favorite.” He looks over at the Donghyuck. “It reminds me of you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to extend this one to another chapter because the next part is probably going to be long~  
> This is still unedited so please forgive any grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.  
> Thank you!  
> Enjoy reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Donghyuck was awakened by the sound of multiple footsteps dashing back and forth outside of his room—and the noise, oh god, the noise. Voices rose over each other, making no sense for Hyuck’s muddled early morning brain. His mother’s voice rose above it all, plus several male voices which he thinks he should recognize but he can’t right now. “Should we wake him up?” a voice rose through the commotion—a voice Hyuck would recognize anytime and anywhere. Mark. His senses are suddenly awake and he jolts upward just as the door opened and a wild, blond mop of hair comes dashing across his room and plopping right on top of him.

“Chenle!” he groans, as the over-excited boy laughs hysterically. 

“Come on, hyung! Get up!” he continues through his laughter as Jisung follows him in, laughing at the absurdity of what he’s seeing at the moment. 

“How am I supposed to, if you're on top of me?” he grits, trying to shove him away playfully.

“Okay, okay.” the younger concedes, rolling off him and onto the floor, landing with a tiny thud. 

Hyuck rises, looking at the mess around him; Jisung was helping Chenle up and continuously failing to do so as he struggles through his giggles, some of his pillows and his blanket were strewn on the floor, the commotion outside was getting noisier while his mother and father ran around, and Mark stood by the door, sheepishly, hiding half of his body and peeking in curiously. 

Donghyuck thought he looked cute like that—but he didn’t want to show it. “Happy birthday,” he mumbles quietly, just enough for Hyuck to hear him over Chenle and Jisung’s uncontrollable laughing fits. Oh, right, that. It was his birthday. “Get up now.” Mark approaches him quietly, making Chenle and Jisung move to the side while they made faces at Hyuck. “We’re going to the beach.”

“What?”

“It’s a birthday weekend, I thought I told you. The rest of the boys have cleared out the entire weekend for this.”

He looks over to Chenle and Jisung, who were separated from them as they were both still in high school and didn’t see them quite that often as soon as they got into college—it wasn’t easy for them to be complete nowadays, and Hyuck smiles at the thought that they all went into the trouble of freeing an entire weekend for his birthday.

“I’ve packed your clothes for you.” Mark points to the small luggage by the door.

“Even the underwear.” Chenle mumbles.

“Shut up.” Mark reaches out to hit him but Chenle manages to dodge. 

Hyuck slowly gets up to stand with the help of Mark as he held both of his hands to pull him up. “Are my parents coming?”

“No,” Mark says in a tone which obviously meant that he was trying to make it seem like he’s disappointed but he actually is thrilled about it. “It’s just going to be the seven of us.”

“Renjun’s here?” he perks up. If he didn’t see the high schoolers that much, it was harder to see Renjun as he was separated from them when he was accepted into an art university. Mark nods and smiles at him, showing his gums. “I’ve been planning this for months, I had to make sure they could skip these two days.” On his peripheral view, he can see Chenle and Jisung slowly backing out onto the hallway.

“Oh my God,” even though he just skipped around town dandily and pretended like he doesn’t really care about not seeing his friends as much, Hyuck knows deep inside that he really misses all seven of them together. “You’re the best.” he turns to Mark, wrapping his arms around his neck and pulling him into a tight hug. “I know,” Mark mumbles against his shoulder. “Nothing but the best for the best,” he adds, making Hyuck glad Mark can’t see him right now because he’s sure he’s blushing right now.

“Wait,” Hyuck let’s go of him abruptly, and he could swear he saw Mark’s smile drop but he didn’t want to think about it. “The whole weekend? Where are we supposed to stay?”

He hesitates before speaking. “I rntnj cabn for trwo dys.” he mumbles.

“What? You’re not making sense.” Hyuck chuckles, enjoying tormenting Mark.

“I rented out a small cabin for two days.” Hyuck’s face must have transformed weirdly as Mark suddenly started to panic. “Don’t worry! I didn’t spend that much, I promise!” he reaches for Hyuck and pulls him into another hug, wrapping his arms tightly around his waist, burying his face in his neck and the other couldn’t help but return the hug albeit tentatively. He knows Mark isn’t very expressive and he usually pushes Donghyuck’s advances towards him but he’s been extra clingy these past few days and he can’t help but think that he knows. What if he does, and he’s just forcing himself to feel something for Hyuck just to fix him? Mark absolutely is the type to do that.

“How small is this cabin exactly?” he asks, arms slowly wrapping more determinedly around Mark’s neck.

“Three rooms,” he mumbles. “One room for Chenle, Jisung, and Renjun. The other room would be for Jeno and Jaemin because no one can stand them anyway,” Hyuck chuckles, that is true, the two were so clingy that they were almost always kicked out onto another room or the living room couch because the others couldn’t stand them. “And the last room will be for you and me, I hope you don’t mind.”

Hyuck’s heart skipped a bit, which is weird. He is used to sharing beds with his friends, they do almost all the time during sleepovers, pushed against each other in one mattress. Maybe it had a lot to do with the fact that Mark initiated this himself, instead of his usual aloofness when it comes to him.

“I’m tired of your face.” he jokes. “Can’t I just have Renjun instead?”

Mark pulls his face back to look at him and the pouts. “Should I just change the arrangements?”

“I’m kidding!” he hits him playfully, making Mark smile again and settle back into the hug.

“But seriously... how much did you spend?”

“Around... $500... I think?”

“According to this receipt,” Chenle suddenly appears by the doorway, making the two jumps apart. Lee Minhyung paid for $350 just for the villa alone. He’s also spending on all our travel fees and food, so I think 500 might be an underestimation.”

“Chenle!” the blond boy jumps in surprise as Mark runs after him, making Hyuck laugh as he hears Chenle shout, “I’m just trying to be thorough!”

“Shit.” Donghyuck suddenly sits up, making everybody else look at him while they all gathered around his bed, waiting for his parents’ go signal before they can leave.

“What?” Renjun asked. “I have a doctor’s appointment,” he answered.

Jeno “ahh’d” beside him. “Shit, sorry, Mark I forgot.”

“But it’s just an ultrasound, it doesn’t last long. My appointment is just for 30 minutes, I’m kind of late but I think I can just call the doctor.”

He walks over to his hamburger shaped telephone which he hasn’t gotten rid of since he got it as a gift when he was 9—from Mark, no less. The receptionist answered right away, relieved when she realized it was Hyuck.

“I totally forgot, I’m sorry. But I can still come, right?”

“Yeah, sure. He’s still free until 10. And Mr. Lee?” she adds, “I was also about to call you. Dr. Jung wanted me to tell you to bring the… umm…”friend” of yours.”

“For what? He isn’t going to tell, right?” he lowers his voice, looking over at the others who didn’t seem to be eavesdropping as they all stared intently at each other, playing mafia. “Of course, not, he’s legally liable to any of your private information.” She assures. “I don’t know what it’s for, but I’m sure it’s just for your health.”

He reluctantly agrees before hanging up. “Mark, come with me.” He demands, and Mark follows him without even asking. “Do you know the bus schedule? Or will the train be faster?” he inquires him, trusting that he knows them because of his frequent commutes. “No need. My brother bought the car here today.”

“Why?”

“Did you think we were going to the beach riding the train?” Mark laughs, unlocking the car door for him.

“I’m driving.”

“Ew, they trusted you with that?”

“They trust me with everything.” He winked before the closing the door on him.

He doesn’t know if the receptionist has been hanging out inside the doctor’s office and staring intently at Mark because she wanted to look at the cause of his Hanahaki, or if she’s just blatantly ogling him.

“ Mr. Lee,” the doctor announced, surprising all of them through breaking the silence. “Come inside with me.” He motions Mark to sit outside. Donghyuck honestly wasn’t very sure about leaving him there with the over enthusiastic woman.

As soon as he was inside, he noticed that there was a sleeping mask. “Are you putting me to sleep?”

“No.” he answers. “I’m trying something out… an experiment of some sort to test my hypothesis, and it means that you can’t see your ultrasound right away.” He explains. “You don’t have to worry, though, I will set a date of when you can see them, I won’t hide them from you.” Knowing that the doctor is just doing his best to help him, he agrees.

After the doctor observes his chest for quite a while, he sends him away and asks Mark to come in to talk to him. He grows wary, but he does whisper ‘don’t worry’ before closing the door behind him. He does worry, however, the whole time Mark was inside, and he can’t seem to stay still.

“What’s his name? Your friend?” the receptionist asked.

“Mark.” He answers quietly.

“Is he single?”

“He’s nineteen.” He answers, not without malice. He was about to call her out about it when the door opens. “Think about it.” The doctor tells Mark who still seemed dazed and lost.

The car ride back was silent, apart from the faint sound of music from the speakers. “What did you talk about?” he asks.

“He just advised me to take care of you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” He nods, convincing him. “Did you, or Jeno tell him that we’re always together? He might have overheard and thought it would be beneficial if I kept track of your flowers.”

Donghyuck nods, understanding. “Now, call them so can just leave once we get there.” Donghyuck smiles, dialing Jaemin’s number.

Everyone was standing outside of the house when they got there, sporting their floral shirts and sunglasses and weird poses. “Why are they like this?” he chuckles as Mark pulls up. As soon as he stops and opens up the trunk, they all scatter and rush to set their things in place by the back of the car. He alights as his mom motions for him to come forward.

“Happy birthday, baby.” She coos, hugging him tightly. “You enjoy your birthday, okay? And I packed a small bottle of milk for you, so you can sleep quickly tonight.” she turns to Mark. “Mark, drive safely okay?”

“No problem, auntie.” He smiles that smile made Donghyuck’s entire family entrust him with an overnight trip where he drives.

“I will check up on you every hour.” Donghyuck’s father reminded.

“I will answer you every single time.” He nods. His parents sent him away with another ‘happy birthday’ before waving them goodbye.

The entire car ride was fun, they were all singing at the top of their lungs, playing random car games. Mark says it wasn’t very far away, just an hour away from Seoul because his parents didn’t want them to go too far away in case anything happens. But since it was an overnight celebration, he thinks Mark has prepared a lot of things. Donghyuck wasn’t able to prepare himself for the beauty of the beach when he arrived, the wind blowing strongly in his face, as the others got all the bags and other food from the back of the car, carrying them all to a small villa by the beach. 

Hyuck was caught in between all the rushing boys, arranging everything without speaking a word. Jeno busied himself with laptops, projectors, speakers and all kinds of wires, and set them up on one of the open spaces which he thinks is meant to be a living room, with all the bean bags and cushions strewn all over the floor. Jaemin and Renjun rushed over to the small kitchen and took all their groceries and put them in the refrigerator, while Chenle and Jisung started blowing up balloons. Hyuck just stood there, watching everything go down in mere seconds, amused by how serious his friends were. Mark came out from one of the rooms are stared at him for a while.

"Do you wanna lie down while we prepare? You could be tired from travel." he offers.

"It was literally just an hour, Mark." he grins. "I'd rather help out."

"Are you sure?"

Jaemin suddenly clears his throat, getting their attention. "Actually," he hesitates. "I need Hyuck's help with the abalones."

"Sure." Hyuck rushes off before Mark can even complain.

It wasn't long before Hyuck was finally standing in front of a cake, surrounded by his friends, complete after months, and with Mark standing in front of him, trying his best to light the spark candles while everybody waits. "Jeno, can you do this?" he chuckles apologetically.

Jeno does come forward, taking the matches from Mark's hand. Mark, instead, picks up a party hat and approaches Hyuck. "Isn't that too childish?" he smiles.

"No, it isn't, it's cute." Mark smiles, convincing him to put on the silly birthday hat. The other reaches over to fix his messy hair and tucks them to the side, wiping Hyuck's forehead sweat in the process. He then stretches the elastic on the hat and puts it around the others' face. "There." he studies his handiwork, staring at Hyuck. 

Hyuck doesn't know if this is his weird way of checking his work because he's been staring at him for longer than he'd expected. After a while, he snaps out of it and whispers, "perfect". He then starts singing the happy birthday song, while everyone followed. When the song finishes, Hyuck leans into the successfully lit candles, closes his eyes, and prays for the impossible.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long! I've been caught up in all my work and I haven't had the inspiration to do any writing for quite a while I'm back on track, though, and I'm pretty sure the next chapter will follow shortly. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! You can leave comments, or you can dm me on twitter @choisoftcheol.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy the 5k of my word vomit

After their dinner, Jaemin suggested they make a bonfire and enjoy the cool summer night. “I’m so glad your birthday is on a warm night,” Mark muttered to himself, still speaking to Hyuck. “Or I wouldn’t have pulled this off.” Jaemin and Renjun found a good spot near the shore, but not too near that the water reached them. Jeno, who brought the firewood and the matches with him, dropped them on the driest part of the sand and started arranging them with the help of Jisung. 

While they waited, he, Chenle and Jaemin tried toeing the water, checking the temperature. Soon enough, Chenle yelped when the water makes contact with his skin. "Cold." he chuckles, making Jaemin and him back away from the water. "This should be warmer tomorrow," Mark approaches, handing him a blanket. "I checked the temperature yesterday it says it should be warmer tomorrow." 

Donghyuck hummed, staring at the water as it touched the shore. He doesn't know what to make of things, anymore. Does Mark know? Why is he acting like this? Looking back at his ultrasound that morning, it really didn’t seem like the doctor just asked Mark to take of him, he looked too dazed and solemn for such a simple task. Is that the reason why he’s doing this? Is he trying to make up for the fact that he’s the reason Donghyuck is sick? Mark is never like this. Sure, there are moments when Mark reaches over to put his hand on his thigh, or when he wraps an arm around his neck and pulls him in a sort of headlock. But not like this--he’s never like this. He's allowing Hyuck to hug him for extended periods of time; he allows him to lean in playfully; he allows him to get too close for comfort. If this is all just pity, he isn't sure if he should be enjoying. 

Jeno finally succeeded in lighting the bonfire, as he called them over to gather around it. Donghyuck sunk into the sand beside Chenle, and Mark follows to sit beside him. 

They talked for a long time, mostly catching up on the news they've missed for the past few months. Renjun said he has been doing excellently in art school and that he's been enjoying his time. "And I think I have a boyfriend," he added like an unimportant footnote. 

"What?" Jaemin exclaims, throwing him a stick he found on the ground. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't think I had to," he defends. "It's kinda new so I didn't want to spoil it too early."

"Understandable," Jeno remarks, trying to get Jaemin off Renjun's back. "You can just tell us about him when you're ready. Plus, maybe then you could allow him to meet us."

"Over my dead body," Renjun mutters, scowling. "I won't let you wild bunch ruin this for me." Jaemin finds another stick and throws it at Renjun.

"Where exactly are you getting all these sticks from?!"

Both Chenle and Jisung complain continuously about school, mutual pining still bubbling over the surface, but they obviously still haven't done anything about it. "Well, it's not that bad." Jisung tried to conclude.

"How is it not bad?" Chenle makes a face. "I just want to rush out of there."

"Well, you're there, so it isn't, really." Jisung insists, shutting Chenle up.

Every single eye turns to Jisung, except for Chenle, who seemed to have frozen. "ZhongChenLe.exe has stopped working," Jeno remarks, making both boys flush furiously. 

"We should play a game," Renjun suggested with an evil glint in his eye. He's sure everyone can see it too but they're too caught up in trying to make the whole weekend fun. "Let's play truth or dare with a twist."

"Truth or dare is already a trap, what makes you think we'd accept it with a dare?"

"Because you're fun people and you aren't the most boring bunch of people ever?" That's always how Renjun convinced them to do something they weren't sure they wanted to. "We will be turning this bottle twice,"

"Where did you get that bottle?" Jeno muttered, interrupting him.

"The first person will be the one to answer the question or do the dare, the second person the bottle points to will be subject of the question or the dare, understood?"

"What?" Jisung mutters his signature, small, question when he thinks something is absurd.

"Okay, trial." Renjun straightens up and spins the bottle which stops at Jaemin. "Okay, Jaemin, truth or dare?"

"Dare." Jaemin answers confidently.

Renjun spins the bottle again and it points to Jisung. "Jaemin, I dare you to poke Jisung's nostril with your finger." Within a moment, Jaemin is suddenly rushing to Jisung with his finger out and ready, making Jisung jump and run away, screaming, 'It's a trial! It's a TRIAL!!!'.

It took a few minutes before Jeno caught Jaemin and carried him away from Jisung who was already panting so hard from running around. 

"Why are you like this?" Jisung fake cries, trying to catch his breath.

"Okay, so does everybody get it now?" they all nod in agreement, not wanting Renjun to go into another trial. Amidst all the commotion, Hyuck felt a certain warmth as Mark scooches closer to him, relaxing against Hyuck and his blanket.

"Are you cold?" he whispers against Mark's head, slowly feeling the nod against his lips. "You wanna share the blanket?" Hyuck offers, extending the blanket over to Mark's side. He tucks his legs in and folds them in front of his body, as he wraps a blanket, and therefore his arm, around Mark, pulling him into the warmth of the blanket.

While this happens, Renjun spins the bottle, landing it on Chenle. "Chenle, truth or dare."

"I don't want anyone poking into my nose, so, truth." Everyone 'ooh-ed' at his decision as Renjun spins it another time, and unfortunately for Chenle, lands on Jisung again. "Chenle do you feel anything romantic for Jisung?" Renjun ambushes, making them both freeze. Jaemin is stifling a guffaw, stopped by Jeno's urgent hand on his arm. "Come on, Jun-hyung, why are you asking such absurd questions. I'm sure Chenle doesn't--"

"Yeah, I do." The other suddenly answers, effectively quieting Jisung.

Hyuck stifles a screech, holding onto Mark. Jisung gapes, and it seems like it became his turn to stop working.

"I have made a horrible mistake," Renjun noted. "I forgot I was supposed to be sharing a room with them." he clutches his chest dramatically. Jaemin reaches over, in dramatic comfort, "It's okay, Jun, you can just stay with us." Renjun pushes him away. "Ew!" he fake-retches. "Anything but you two." Renjun looks over hopefully at Mark.

"No can doozeville, babydoll." he jokes. "I'm keeping Hyuck with me all night, sorry." Donghyuck then thanks the universe for being dark right now, or Mark would definitely see the flush that's covering his entire face and neck. "You're so warm." he then noted when he sinks back to wrap himself around Hyuck.

They've done many rounds by then, and Hyuck has had to sniff Jeno foot for 10 seconds, while the others have done so much more disgusting stuff care of Renjun. Once again, the bottle lands on Hyuck who chooses dare again, not wanting to enter the 'truth' territory, it's too dangerous. "Hyuck, since you're the birthday boy, I'm giving you one advantage," Renjun announced. Hyuck perked up, interested. "I'm telling you the dare before I'm spinning the bottle."

"How is that an advantage?!" he complains.

"So Hyuck, you should kiss the person the bottle chooses." Hyuck shrugs, easy enough, he's kissed every single one of them at least once in his life. "On the lips." Oh no. He scans the faces around him, and Jaemin momentarily puckers up exaggeratedly, making kissy noises, and he can already imagine his face contorting into a disgusted expression. 

"Please no." Hyuck pleads, his fear heightened by the slurping noises Chenle was making. "You're all disgusting please don't make me do this."

"Oh no, you're doing this." he puts the bottle in the middle and starts spinning it. Because it's spun on the sand, it doesn't take long before it stops to the person on Hyuck's right: Mark. Amidst the fear of being disgustingly salivated on by Jaemin and Chenle, he had totally forgotten Mark was part of the game.

Every single person around the bonfire froze, and Hyuck didn't really know how to react.

Suddenly, Mark breaks the silence. “Hyuck, come here.” Everything has faded into the background as Mark takes his wrists and pulls him to face him. Hyuck is in a bind, his mind isn’t working, and he can hardly register anything right now. His brain turned to mush, and he can’t think of a single coherent thought. Mark puts a finger under his chin to tilt his head up, before using both hands to cup his face. Is this really happening? What kind of trippy dream is this? Mark looks at him in the eyes intently, before they shift down to his lips, then back up. “Can I?” he asks, and before Hyuck can even register anything, his head had already nodded for him. Mark inches forward, sliding one of his hands to the back of his head, then down to his neck, cupping it warmly, and urging Hyuck to close the distance. When he finally does, and his lips met his, every nerve inside Donghyuck’s body seemed to all explode simultaneously, and his chest seemed to have expanded, clearing his head and messing it up all at the same time. Mark seemed to have hesitated at first, but then he started to move his lips gently against his, and the rest of Donghyuck's nerves died on the spot. His arms, which seemed to have a mind of their own, wrapped themselves around Mark's waist, pulling him closer to him, as Mark's hand presses insistently against his nape, moving his lips languidly against Hyuck's. Donghyuck's mind seemed to have recovered a little, and all it can think of is soft, soft, soft, love.

Mark seemed to attempt to deepen the kiss when they heard Chenle sneeze, washing over them like ice cold water, making them jump away from each other. "Damn it, Chenle." Jaemin complained, making the younger mutter a tiny 'sorry', "I couldn't hold it in anymore." Hyuck was still panting from lack of air, staring at Mark with an utmost confusion. "Good enough, Renjun?" Mark asked.

"I'm sorry, but," he grins evilly. "It's Hyuck's dare to kiss you, but you kissed him. It doesn't count."

In a bout of frustration, Hyuck suddenly grabs Mark by the neck and pulls him forward, before pressing another kiss on the other's lips before letting him go abruptly.

"How about that?" Hyuck pants.

"Good enough." he chuckles and shakes his head, turning his attention away from the two dazed people.

When it started to get extremely cold, they decided to head back to the villa and watch a movie instead. Jeno got busy with the projector he has previously prepared and sets it up. While Hyuck tries to settle himself onto one of the bean bags, Mark approaches hesitantly. He doesn’t really want to think about it, except for the fact that his lips are still tingling from the contact, and from thinking about the fact that they might have gone overboard from the required peck and had almost made out for everyone to watch. “I’m sorry,” Mark mutters quietly, helping him settle down onto one of the beanbags and knelt beside him. “What for?” Hyuck asked. He does mean it, there is nothing for Mark to be sorry about, it’s not like it’s a crime, Hyuck was pretty into it despite his initial fear. He knows it messes with heart, making him feel like something is there, but constantly reminding himself that the flowers are proof that there is nothing, works. As long as the flowers are there, as long as the leaves are there, he’s sure feels nothing romantic for him--but he’s sure he loves him, as a friend of course, and if Mark does know and is doing this to make him love Hyuck back, then he recognizes the effort. Not that it doesn’t hurt, not that it doesn’t make him consistently wish for the impossible, but he does appreciate that Mark is aiming for the impossible, too. But that doesn’t change the fact that it is what it is: impossible.

“For kissing you so suddenly.”

“It doesn’t matter, Mark.” he smiled. “We all knew we were gonna have to do it, anyway, Renjun never accepts a ‘no’.” He pats his cheek reassuringly, inviting him to sit on the beanbag beside him. Mark nods, although still looking kind of hesitant. “Okay,” Jeno announces. “Mark said we should save this for later but I think the atmosphere might already be perfect for this.”

“Oh no,” Mark mutters beside him. “I must warn you,” he turns to Hyuck and slides in closely. “This is very cringey.”

Jeno presses play, and the notes to his favorite song start to fade in, showing childhood pictures of Hyuck. There was one with him and his sister by the park, another with Mark on their dining table paint smudging both their faces, another one with Mark riding the swings, and another one with Mark eating ice cream. He turns to Mark, looking at how much they’ve grown up through the years. Mark turns to him, “I’m sorry it always has me in them,” he turns to the screen, looking at another picture of the two of them in middle school, messy and with their smiles reaching their ears. “It was difficult to find one without me in it.” It’s not just the pictures, Hyuck’s life, in general, was difficult to think about without Mark in it. As the year's progress in the pictures, his ensemble with Mark slowly got bigger. There’s picture of them in middle school, with [Hyuck wrapped around Mark, when Mark still had his glasses and his braces](https://78.media.tumblr.com/3b4fb692f194c9a219f0904237a8b124/tumblr_p9nka0UzQQ1x4t4b6o1_1280.jpg), then followed by a picture of the two of them, but this time, [with Jeno and Jaemin in tow taken in a fast food restaurant](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DX7OmRQVQAAbQn9.jpg), a few seconds before Mark gasped as Hyuck’s ice cream cone fell to the tray. He smiles at the memories, he remembers then, he thought Mark was just such a special friend, and he thought best friends were supposed to feel that way for each other since he saw it in Jeno and Jaemin, too. But when he saw the process of them getting together, and when Jeno starts to share how he realizes he’s in love with his best friend, and the process of helping them both confess did only Hyuck realize that what he felt for Mark, wasn’t platonic at all. 

He struggled with those feelings for such a long time, and when he confessed, he admitted, he was stupid, and he didn’t think of the strain it would have on their friendship. He was awkward with Mark for months after it, and those were the worst few months of his life, even now when there’s a whole garden in his lungs, he thinks everything is still better because Mark is still there, trying, trying, and trying to pull them out. But he knows there’s no point. He knows Mark if he still thinks it’s another guy, he’s still plotting to look for him, force him to love Hyuck back, even if he had to commit a crime for it, and if he does know it’s him, then he’s forcing himself right now. He loves Hyuck that much. But not the type to make the flowers go away.

The slideshow stops abruptly, showing an awkward Jisung, saying a half-assed birthday message for Hyuck, followed by an ecstatic Chenle, who always knew what to say. Renjun’s message seemed annoyed and rushed, which is so Renjun it hurts, making Hyuck laugh in the process. Jaemin comes in the screen and makes an extremely heartfelt and dramatic message it made Donghyuck want to hit him with a pillow. Jeno was then next, awkward and shy, but pulled off an equally loving message. Finally, Mark comes in front of the screen, smiling and blushing, mostly maybe from awkwardness.

“Hyuck? Hi.” he chuckles, earning a chastise from Jaemin from behind the camera. “Okay, serious.” he clears his throat and sits up straight. The Mark beside him cringes, leaning onto his shoulder and cupping Hyuck’s thigh with his hand. “I still remember the day at the playground when I dropped my iced lollipop,” he pauses, shooing Jaemin and Jeno away. “I thought, ‘who is this squishy-ass boy, and how do I ask him to be my friend without seeming overeager?’ turns out I only had to drop my beloved iced lollipop to be stuck with you until now. I deeply regret it,” he jokes. “Joking aside, you are my best friend, and I love you with all of my heart, and I won’t let anyone hurt you, not even me.” he pauses seriously, and the Mark wrapped around him holds his thigh tighter. “I know I’ve done it before, and it’s one of the worst things I’ve done.”

“It’s not your fault.” Hyuck whispers against his head.

“I felt terrible, as soon as I ran away I wanted to come back.” video_Mark continued. They’d never talked about this. Hyuck being who he was, insisted that they just forget it ever happened. “I knew I hurt you, and I was supposed to protect you from it. I hated it.” he frowns, holding back tears. “But I just wanted to remind you that if I ever, ever, hurt you again, I have a covenant with Jeno and Jaemin, they can beat me up.” Hyuck laughs.

“Don’t laugh, his mom notarized it, it’s binding,” Jeno says seriously, pausing the video.

“Are you serious?” he turns to Mark.

“Mom was weirded out, but she did it anyway.”

“Why are you such dorks?” he mutters as Jeno plays the video again. “Anyway, happy birthday, I love you with all of my heart, and despite your impending operations, always remember that I am willing to do anything to make you feel better. I just hope you were still in love with me so I can easily love you back.” Hyuck raised his brows and turns to Mark. “Why are you joking like that?” he wanted to get angry at him, he wanted to push him away, but considering Mark was still tightly wrapped around him, sniffing and tearing up, he couldn’t actually do so. “I wasn’t joking.” he shakes his head. “If you were still in love with me I can just love you back, then you don’t have to cough up flowers anymore. I can’t help but think, if I had accepted your confession and loved you back then, would this have happened?” Hyuck looks up, realizing everyone had crept out of the room and left them alone. “Every time you double up, coughing, every time a petal touches my skin, every time blood accompanies your flowers, I think it’s partially my fault, you know?”

“Don’t think like that.” Hyuck whispers.

“I’m sorry, Hyuck.”

“You don’t have to be. I’m going to get the operation, and it’s going to be successful, and I just have to… forget I ever felt anything for him.” To Mark, this may be relieving, but to Hyuck, looking at Mark right now, thinking all of his feelings for him would go away, was painful in itself. But that is what exactly what he is trying to get rid of.

“You really… want to?” Mark asks.

“What do you mean?”

“You really want to forget you ever loved him?”

Hyuck was taken aback, does he really want to. “He doesn’t love me back, Mark.”

“What if he does? What if he just hasn’t had the chance to tell you?”

“He doesn’t, Mark.” he shakes his head. “I know he doesn’t.”

Mark pauses, wanting to say something, but he holds back. “Does it hurt?” he finally asks.

“Like hell.”

Hyuck wakes up the next morning and only has faint recollections of Mark being tightly around him in his sleep and him enjoying it too much. But right now, the space beside him was empty, and he can hear the bustling outside his door again. Mark suddenly peeks in, surprised that Donghyuck is finally awake. “Do you want a dip in the pool, or do you want to just pack up and leave?”

“I know Chenle and the others really want to go into the pool, but I don’t want to,” he complains, wanting to go back to sleep. 

“I can just tell them to pack up.”

“No!” he stops him. “You can all go, I can just stay here.”

“But I arranged this for you, though.” he pouts, stepping into the room and sitting on the foot of his bed.

“And it’s appreciated, I had so much fun.” he reaches out to pat him. “I can join you for a while, I can just dip my feet in.” he offers, making Mark smile.

“Yay,” he mutters and stands, pulling Hyuck’s arms to help him up from the bed, allowing Hyuck sit on the foot of the bed. The other approaches him and hugs him closely. “Did you really have fun?”

“Yeah,” he nods against Mark’s stomach, hugging him back. “Thank you so much.”

They had another fun day, with all of them splashing around under the heat of the sun, and Donghyuck finally being forced into the pool by Jisung and Jaemin, leaving him no choice but to stay with them in the pool all day, sunburn be damned. They had to finish all their food, as they were supposed to check out late in the afternoon, and they still had a lot of food left since Mark packed so much. They alternated from playing around to eating, and even took funny videos and pictures of them jumping in and out of the water, they had a small mishap when Jeno almost slipped while he was chasing Chenle around with a spatula.

“I told you, no running!” Mark had his hand on his waist, chastising like a mama hen. 

Around an hour before they were supposed to check out, they had left the pool and started packing up and cleaning up their mess. As Hyuck came out of the bathroom, Mark had already been bent over his luggage, folding Hyuck’s clothes one by one and quietly putting them in.

“Hey, I can do that myself,” he says quietly.

“I’m almost done, I can just finish this,” he mutters.

When he sits up, finished, he sits close to Hyuck, smiling at him. “Thank you for this,” Hyuck says, cupping his face with his hand. Mark’s eyes flutter closed, leaning into the touch. For a few seconds, Hyuck allows himself to think there’s something there before the logical side of his mind kicks in and reminds him. It’s not happening, stop getting your hopes up.

But then Mark pulls his hand away, and puts his own on Hyuck’s face, caressing it down to the back of his neck. Hyuck looks at Mark intently, not really thinking about what is happening anymore, but he allows himself to be carried away, he knows it’s a bad decision, but he seems to have thrown out all rational thinking out the window, and allows Mark to lean in and press their lips together.

This time is much slower, despite the fact that this time, there’s no one watching them. Mark slowly moves his lips, and pulls Donghyuck closer to him, pulling him by the waist. Hyuck, in return, wraps his arms around Mark’s neck, pulling him impossibly closer, turning his head for a better angle. When Mark bites his lower lip, a bucket of cold water seemed to have been thrown over him as he snaps out of it, making him pull away abruptly and push Mark away.

He pants, scared to look at Mark in the fact when he’d just kissed him without the presence of a dare.

“I know it’s me,” Mark confesses.

I knew it, I knew it, I fucking knew it.

“And I love you, Hyuck.” Fuck, that’s it. Confessing he knows it and is forcing himself to love Hyuck back may be a little bit acceptable, but making Hyuck believe he does is just low. 

“What do you think you’re playing at?”

“Hyuck--I” he tries to reach other but Hyuck pushes him away.

“Why are you doing this to me?” he chokes out, not realizing he’s been crying. “ _ Why are you doing this _ ?” he repeats, more broken than the first one. “Stop forcing it, stop making me believe you do, stop breaking my heart.” he sobs, and it must have been loud enough because Jaemin comes rushing in, freezing when he saw Hyuck’s broken state.

“Hyuck, please--” Mark tries to reach out again but he swerves and grabs his luggage handing them to Jaemin. “Let’s just go.”

It took Mark a while to catch up with them in the car, and he could almost see his expression drop when he sees Jisung in the passenger seat and Hyuck sitting at the very back. Hyuck couldn’t believe it, he knows Mark is not above faking it all just to make feel Hyuck better, he knows he’s willing to do anything, but he didn’t expect he’d actually tell Hyuck he’s in love with him when he knows that Donghyuck knows he isn’t. It’s just cruel. He never expected Mark to be cruel right when he’d just said he wouldn’t hurt him.

When they’d stopped at his house, he had run away right away, not even giving anybody else a chance to catch up to him, running straight into their house, and up to his room in record time. When he steps into his room, he texts everyone a “leave me alone for a while” before he slumps down, sobbing. He had cried himself to sleep that night, the tightness and pain in his chest reminding him that Mark lied. He lied, he lied, he lied. He sobs more, feeling a harder, more abrasive scratch against his lungs. He tried to stop it as he can hear someone trying to turn a key into his doorknob, but he couldn’t. The pain had made him sit up, as he coughed, coughed, and coughed, and right when Jaemin stepped into his room, a whole red rose fell from his mouth. He stared at it, and Jaemin did, too. 

Jaemin stared at the rose, then looked at Hyuck staring at the rose in front of him, blood covering it. It breaks his heart, and he realizes that if this is this painful for him, he wonders how Hyuck must feel right now. He steps forward and sees Hyuck’s tears fall onto the rose.

“Hyuck…” he calls out.

“Jaemin…” Hyuck looks up, blood marring his lips. His face contorts into the most painful expression he’d seen as Hyuck breaks down and cries, reaching out to him, desperately clinging onto his clothes. Jaemin hugs him and cries with him, reminding him that it’s okay, it’s going away soon.

Hyuck then developed a fever, and his mother had to set an appointment with his doctor, convinced that he had to take the operation as soon as possible. However, the doctor said he had to talk to Donghyuck and his parents first. So as soon as his fever subsided, Donghyuck found himself in the waiting room with his parents, shivering not just because of the cold, but as an aftereffect of his breakdown.

Not long after, the receptionist calls Donghyuck as he steps into the office of the doctor which he is very much wanting to sue for telling Mark but didn’t have the energy to do so. He was talking with his parents first, but then he couldn’t keep it in anymore. “Why did you tell him?” the doctor looked taken aback, but Donghyuck wanted answers. “I thought you’re in some kind of oath, why did you tell Mark?”

“Wait, Mark? I thought it was someone you couldn’t contact anymore.” his mom asked, but he chose to ignore her, demanding answers from his doctor.

“Okay, let me explain. I didn’t tell him.” he stands, moving over to his table and pulling a huge envelope from his drawer. He takes out several x-ray results and clips on two onto the board. “This is Donghyuck’s x-ray when I first met him.” he points to the result, two lungs filled with small petals which he identifies as the daisies. “In my years of studying Hanahaki, people are usually plagued by roses, sunflowers, or hyacinths, but rarely daisies. So I did a little more research about them, and specifically, yours, that’s why I asked you to bring the petals.” he unclips them and clips two other x-ray results. He faces Hyuck and his parents, “Can you see the difference?”

“There are other flowers in there.” his mother comments.

“But there are also less flowers in there.” his father added.

“Yes,” the doctor pointed to his Dad. “The first thing I noticed was there were less. I studied Donghyuck’s case deeply because I’ve never seen Hanahaki decrease before. Upon diagnosis, it just increases over time, so I considered Hyuck’s case to be special.” he unclips them and clips two others. “These are the results of both the ultrasound and the x-ray I did last week on your birthday when I had you put on a sleeping mask.”

Hyuck’s heart skipped a beat, and his mom gasped, not believing that the images on the screen were supposed to be his. “There’s… one flower in there.” his father mutters.

“I’ve been suspecting for quite a while, but then I had to make sure. I had to visit one of my mentors who had conducted a study about being loved back  _ during  _ the stages of Hanahaki.” Hyuck looks up, not believing his words. “There has been no proven subject before, so his study hasn’t quite been proven, yet, and then… I showed him Donghyuck’s x-rays.” he pauses. “What we both think, is that Hyuck’s flowers have been accumulated in the past years that he has been in love with his friend, and wasn’t loved back, with the number of flowers that you’ve coughed up, we estimate them to have started accumulating around a year ago.”

_ A year ago. _

“It’s mostly triggered by rejection.” he turns to Hyuck and he nods quietly, confirming that he  _ was  _ rejected around a year ago.

“However, considering the fact that it just kept on decreasing, meant that the affection, or the  _ love  _ was returned, even when you were diagnosed and started coughing them out. We both think that the coughs were triggered the moment he loved you back, even though unknowingly because now that the body recognizes that you’re loved back, it wanted to expel all the flowers it had accumulated over time.” he pulls up the x-ray with a rose in it again. “This was the last of the flowers.”

“Does that mean…?” his mother inquires.

“There’s nothing more, it’s gone. It’s been gone the moment you started coughing them out.” he clears his throat as soon as his mother started freaking out. “Although, since Donghyuck is our only subject, we’d have to observe him overtime to make sure it doesn’t come back. But right now, we’re both at least 90% sure that his Hanahaki is gone..”

Despite all the information he has now, all he can think about is  _ Mark, Mark, Mark. _

He found himself standing outside Mark’s door, not really sure whether to ring the doorbell or not. He just walked outside back and forth, sitting on the porch, and standing up, not really sure what to say. When he decides to just, leave, the door swings open to reveal Mark. 

He freezes as soon as he sees Donghyuck there, and Donghyuck just stares back, his heart beating so quickly he thinks it might burst. Mark looked worn down, his hair unkempt and his eyes swollen and dark, but he still looked pretty. Plus, he had his glasses on which was always attractive to him. “Hi.” Donghyuck greets meekly.

“Hyuck, hi. Are you okay?” he scans him up and down, making sure he isn’t hurt.

“Yeah,” he nods. “Are you?” Mark looks up and smiles painfully.

“I miss you.” he chokes and frowns like he always does when he’s about to cry. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Do you want me to take it back? Would you feel better if I did? Please, tell me. Hyuck, I’ll do anything.” a tear falls from his eye and Donghyuck couldn’t bear it anymore. 

“I talked to my doctor,” he starts, and Mark looked confused. “The flowers are all gone.”

Mark lights up but goes back to being confused. “Jaemin told me you coughed up another one…? So I thought it isn’t me.”

“It was the last one.” he confesses.

“I… I thought you knew.” Mark admits. “Your birthday weekend, you didn’t cough, not once.” he pointed out, making Hyuck realize it himself. “I really thought you knew… I kissed you twice.”

“I thought you were forcing yourself to love me back.” Donghyuck moved forward, reaching for Mark’s hand. “What did my doctor tell you? Why did you realize it was you?”

“He told me about your flowers, and how the numbers were decreasing, so he thought it could be about someone who didn’t love you back a year ago but loved you back now.” Mark looks up and connects their pinkies together.

“So…” Mark hesitated. “You believe me now? That I really do love you?”

Hyuck smiles, genuinely this time. “Because I really do, Hyuck, so much. I tried to show you, I tried to tell you. When I sang to you, I was technically pouring it out there, I thought you realized it. But when you told me the Hanahaki was for someone else I realized that I really lost my chance, and I backed away, I couldn’t tell you anymore. But then, I started thinking, what if you loved me again? Would the flowers go away? So I showed you, again and again, how much… how much I love you.” he pauses, caressing Hyuck’s finger with his thumb. “That night… I told you, but you didn’t get it.”

“Which part?”

“I said that ‘if you just loved me again, I could just love you back’.” He recalls. “And I meant them, Hyuck. I just wanted you to love me again so the flowers would go away.” Mark kept on crying, while Hyuck busied his free hand trying to wipe them all away.

“I know that now, Mark. I know now, I’m sorry.”

“No,  _ I’m  _ sorry.” he pulls Hyuck into his arms and hugs him tight. “ _ I really love you, Hyuck. _ ”

“Fuck you, Mark, I love you, too.” he answers before pulling back to press a quiet peck on his lips.

Mark smiled so widely Hyuck thought he was going to rip his face off, and right now, Hyuck can breathe again, and a lot freely now that he knows, that the impossible can actually happen. At first, he thought that he can’t breathe because of the flowers, but now he realizes, it’s just Mark, and he always leaves him breathless.

_ You made flowers _

_ Grow in my lungs _

_ And although they are beautiful _

_ I can’t breathe. _

_ -Anon _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has finally ended, and I'd like to thank all those who left kudos and their comments. Since I completed the second hald of this chapter at 3am, I expect this to be full of mistakes, or haphazardly explained. So if anything seems confusing to you, you can always leave a comment, or you can dm me at twitter @choisoftcheol. I also have a curiouscat, @aishjinjaa, if you want your comments or questions to be anonymous! Nothing rude, though, even though this probably sucks. 
> 
> Thank you very much for reading my first MarkHyuck! I'll try to write better next time.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by Mark singing Ed Sheeran's 'Hearts Don't Break Around Here'
> 
> here's a link if you haven't seen it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwW-g6WMNMI


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